Helping my aging mother move – Part 2
Packed boxes after the move
This is a reflection on how I went with helping my mother move. Please read Helping my aging mother move – Part 1 first for context.
Preparing for the move
It is best to have at least 4 weeks to thoroughly go through the items using the KonMari method. Remember, it takes energy and strengths to make decisions and pack/unpack. This may depend on the volume of items and how much your parent/s can do. My sister had been helping my parents discard larger furniture and items for the last 3 years. This has immensely helped my mother in deciding what to take to the new place.
Research the ways you can sell, donate or recycle in advance before discarding items as rubbish. In Japan, many people use Mercari or Jimoty to sell their used items. In Australia, you can use platforms like Facebook marketplace or Gumtree if you have time to deal with buyers. My mother started selling a lot of her items through Mercari several months before the move. It allowed her to think about what to let go in exchange for pocket money.
My aunt who had already done a big move said to my mother, ‘Remember, you cannot take everything with you when you pass away’. Do you want to be surrounded by the right amount of items you love and spark joy for you, or be overwhelmed by the large volume of items that weigh you down?
Maintaining relationships
As a family member, you know that you love and care about your parent/s. Sometimes they may not see what is good for them, and differences in opinions may lead to strained relationships. Remind yourself to be kind to them and to yourself when emotions are running high, especially when everyone is tired from the move.
If you do become emotional or frustrated, take deep breaths or step away as much as you need to keep calm. Sometimes it is about reserving your own opinions and focusing on what would help them or be good for them.
Reach out to a friend or a family member who may understand your situation. It was great having my sister with me this time, as we could discuss the plans and ideas to make the move smooth. I think it also helps to vent out occasionally. It helped me maintain my stress level LOL.
Family legacy
When you are rushing through things, it’s hard to think about the family legacy, but if you have a few months to prepare, think about how to preserve your family history and legacy with your parent/s.
For example:
Share family photos and documents with family members and/or relatives. You can digitise them if there are too many printed photos/documents. This is helpful if the family members live far away or overseas.
If you have more time, check with your family members and/or relatives if they want any items that they could use or are valuable to them.
Never too late
It is never too late to start reviewing and decluttering your items, especially heavy bulky items. You will have more energy, physical strengths and mental capacity today than your future self.
Have you helped your aging parent/s move? What helped you and them?
